AFL 2 months ago

Carlton fans; leave Gerard alone!!

  • Carlton fans; leave Gerard alone!!

    MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - MARCH 07: Gerard Whateley (L) and Mark Robinson pose during the 2018 FOX FOOTY AFL Season Launch on March 7, 2018 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo by Graham Denholm/Getty Images for FOX FOOTY)

                      In mid-February, in a fiery on air interview, Hawthorn president Jeff Kennett accused football media personality Gerard Whateley of being a “shock Jock”.

In a footy season which has yet to reach heights on field, Kennett’s brash description of the smug and sanctimonious broadcaster – on national radio - has definitely been one of the real highlights off field.

Listening to the former Victorian Premier expose Whateley for exactly what he stands for (a shock jock) and then listening to the usually full of himself Whateley retreat ever so quickly back into his box, is what they refer to as “Bliss Point” radio.

Oh, by the way, I made that bit about “Bliss Point” radio up. I think I will run with it though.    

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As a listener one could feel Whateley’s uneasiness seeping through your transistor.  

Kennett, more than anyone in the caper, has the ability sniff out a troll from a mile away – and he was right on the money here.

Whateley’s use of “big words” (yes he can use a thesaurus) and Whateley’s penchant for using clever phrases (a sure sign of fabrication) may have bamboozled, for a long time, his dwindling posse of listeners, but those superficial devices, employed regularly by Whateley, were never going to fool the wily old Kennett.

You could tell Whateley despised being labelled a shock jock. Or maybe he just despised be caught? I’ll take the latter.  

After all, this is a bloke that was still riding high on all the “arse licking” he had received after being on a junket to call a Super Bowl. How self-indulgent was that? That was quite possibly the most overrated 4 hours of radio in the history of sport. The call put Valium to sleep.

But, as they say, if you can’t beat them, join them.  

Since Kennett bared Whateley naked, it has been all guns blazing by the SEN & Fox footy antagoniser.

So this is where I bare my soul, and I take my hat off to Whateley.

At least Whateley now is not disguising the fact that he is bona-fide shock jock, and is now right up there in the top echelon of shock jocks on Australian radio, challenging the likes of Steve Price, Kyle Sandilands, Derryn Hinch and his partner in crime Kane Cornes. It’s no coincidence that Cornes, who has the brain the size of a split pea, replaces Whateley on his program every Friday.

And for this, I give Whateley plaudits.   

Now exposed as a shock jock and no longer hiding it, Whateley has now decided to vent his embellishment, in no uncertain terms, on the Carlton Football Club.

In Whateley’s hyperbole world, the battling blues are an easy kill.

You can hear it in his voice, and see it in those beady eyes, every time he delivers a slapdash lashing on the struggling club.

Recently, after Carlton’s humiliating 109-point defeat at the hands of a rampaging Melbourne, Whateley was like a fly to a spit roast.

“I think the list build is wrong. They are at rock bottom. They aren’t where they should be. I can’t see it,” Whateley said post Carlton’s loss.

We must almost remember that these comments came less than a week after Whateley had pleaded (to the point of tears mind you) to Steve Hocking to challenge the findings awarded to Ed & Charlie Curnow after the pair were let off with just fines for making contact with an umpire in the clubs win against the Bombers. He was also back on his high horse a couple of days ago with the impending outrage if Carlton is granted a priority pick at season’s end, a pick we must remember Carlton never actually put their hand out for, and has stated since, are not even interested in. Oh Gerard, you really are a silly sausage.  

As I said though, I give Whateley his dues. As a highly paid shock jock, I personally don’t have a problem with Whateley’s comments. His views are actually quite entertaining. I must add though, I’ve watched every season of ‘Jersey Shore’ and are up to date with ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’.      

In the cut throat world of the media, Whateley needs to make outlandish, unsubstantiated and controversial comments to remain relevant in the sport, and to keep his sponsors happy, after all he never played the game and would have absolutely no idea how it would feel to break a bone or be knocked out in combat. In fact, I would doubt Gerard would have even had the experience of feeling the pig skin on his foot, or having liniment rubbed into his calves.  

So my advice to Carlton fans is don’t take Whateley so literally.

Don’t get yourself worked up into lather every time Gerard spins his web or dangles his line. Take his comments with a grain of salt. Make him a troll without a bridge.   

His views on football are like “sex without an orgasm.”

So when Whateley says: “he just can’t see it” in regards to the journey Carlton is undertaking, it basically translates to, he just hasn’t looked hard enough. Looking harder or deeper is not a sexy story. It’s not an ideal angle for a shock Jock.  

Looking deeper is the job for a real journalist, not a shock jock. Looking deeper is also the job of a supporter, not of a shock jock.

Don’t be sucked in guys, you’re feeding a monster.

Time to leave Gerard alone Carlton fans, and trust your own thoughts.   

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